I'll Give You "Lumpy."

Inspired by Sarah and Taz I have decided that I shall resurrect this blog for the purposes of archiving my pointless drivel once again. Hooray! It's been over a month!

I think there's just too much to summarise, to be honest. Bought a bike, shot one an event with over 950 cadets on parade, had a major diplomatic incident, finally got a new phone, had a couple of parties, took my GCSE exams and escaped death no fewer than eight times.

But, summer has begun. And I'm loving it, especially as the others are back at school this week. I'm enjoying lie-ins until 11 ish even more. Then breakfast, a pleasant cycle and the rest of the afternoon to do with what I please. Exxxxcelent, Monty Burns-style.

Wimbledon was good this year, and The World Cup also happened in the time I've been off line. Not much to say, I think! Useless donkeys. In contrast, DI had a successful couple of months, being hard pushed to get a team out a couple of times. And we had our Annual General Meeting, which [rather predictably] quickly became an Annual General Chat. Point is, we're not disbanding. For now.

We've worked so much in the past few weeks that Kenneth has been locked away in his flightcase in the hope that I won't take any more pictures for a little while - let's see how long that lasts! Joseph was so tired at a cricket match we covered, yesterday. Bless him, dead on his feet!

I had a lovely weekend with Dearest Taran. I helped with tech for his annual gymnastics display - which I pointed out was basically glorified dancing and was therefore lured there under false pretences. I spent the rehearsal complaining that I didn't have a desk on which to put our various bits of watered-down sound kit. He was a good girl and found me a desk, and after a quick bit of rewiring we got some Owl City on and had a sandwich.

The show went okay - there was the inevitable cock-up, but that wasn't our fault. If we'd been told the right song, I'd have loaded the right CD. The eyes of every gymnast, every coach and every single member of the audience fell upon me. IT WASN'T MY FAULT OKAY?

Afterwards we de-rigged in record time, bought a new inner-tube for my bike and boarded the lovely 84 back to Broughton. I walked home, fitted the inner-tube, had a swift jam sandwich and headed back to Lutterworth, to Taz's. We'd been invited to the afterparty, and willingly obliged. Change of shirt and we had a lovely evening with Katie and Nick...well I dad, Taz just got abused.

I've pretty much slept since.

Although I did rather enjoy a trip to Leire today, to see Sarah. I murdered the back of my leg on my crank, I may never walk properly again, but it was a very pleasant evening with a well-loved friend who I very nearly lost through my own stupidity. Very nearly spoiled, although I think we're beyond that.

And I've returned to Channel Four showing soft/medium porn in the interest in boosting ratings with the excuse of "Education."

So yeah - I'm back, bitches. Now, to add some more pertinent labels...

"You know you love me"

Bidz x

Not A Busy Week

As I said on Monday night, there was nothing really to make this week particularly stressful. Last week saw the most of it - French exams, Tom's sellout show and the dreaded VT assemblies. I actually got a round of applause from students in Tuesday's assembly, which I thought was uber kind of them...

My Tuesday cycle to Lutterworth plans evaporated in favour of sitting on my arse, although I did have to make a special outing to Leire to comfort one certain young lady who's not having the best of times at the moment. Sadly, Captain decided to call, in search of a phone connection point, and inform me that we're re-designing our command room in the summer. Yet again.

Wednesday I was supposed to go to the dentist, but decided I'd rather do some chemistry as apparently I've got an exam coming up, I don't know if you've heard? Photography course after school was cheered up by Rupert, who thinks that three times of camera supports are a tripod, a monopod...and a rock. Spent an hour or more out with Coddy that evening, who seems to think that cows can talk to each other have accents and maybe cannot understand cows from other parts of the world. Northern idiot.

Thursday I cycled over to South Wigston to meet with the PR people behind the June parade that we're photographing. Katie and Emilia, our guest photographers for the event came with me and we had a short half an hour chatting to a lovely Irish man and a lady who shouted at her phone. Followed by the worst Croft Players singing group meeting in...well, the three weeks of it's existence.

I did stay up till half 2 and watch the general election results. I figured the election is like a cross between Eurovision and Conclave. It's a big song and dance and goes on for so long people lose interest...

Friday panned out like any other Friday, although I don't usually fall asleep at 8pm. It worked out well, though, because the new people that are moving in next door decided to start banging at half nine this morning, annoying gits. Better be decent neighbours, or I'm wacking up the Dolly Parton...

"The day we're born we start to die, don't waste one minute of your life...get to livin'..."

T -17 Days and Counting

With just a few weeks left of lovely Lutterworth College, let's reflect on the past two years.

What a load of bollocks.

Okay, now that's over, here's a bit of wisdom I spouted this week:

Why spend every day playing the dress rehearsal of a show that'll never take to the boards? Wipe the makeup from your face, open the curtains and step forward into the lights of real life. Break free of the chains of some other director. Let morals be your script, and chance be your choreographer...

Who doesn't love theatre saying? Non-theatre types, I suppose. Rupert, for example. It was written for someone in particular, but it has a wider meaning than shaking free of the shackles of directed performing arts.

Life is like that. Look at all the abuse I get on Formspring - people trying to direct me to how they want me to be, and causing trouble when I refuse. Why bend and break to what other people expect?

And why expect people to bend and break for you? I'm proud to say that I'm very much for Vertical Tutoring. But people who haven't seen it work on this level don't - won't - understand it, and kick up a fuss. I don't suppose any of you will know how hard it was to stand in front of Yr11 and do that assembly. Yr10 was easy they don't know a thing about me. But to stand in front of close peers, and even friends who value my opinion, and say something that was very much against the stroke was a difficult thing to do.

And the clever people pulled the "You're not going to be here" card. So? So bleedin' what?

VT is something that you have to see working to understand it. Until you do, how on Earth can you not be open minded?

Rant over. I had a very cold day at Mallory Park yesterday, attempting to improve - or rather, gain - some motorsport photography skills with Kenneth. The Kingsmill team were lovely and didn't mind having me pottering about for a little while taking photographs of their sidecar and eating their rolls. Which were blatantly cobs, this is Lestah. Tchh.

(Photographs to follow - I took over 800)

You could see the smoke from the Enderby fire from the circuit. I was listening to the Leicester City match on my iPod inbetween races, they mentioned it a couple of times. So much smoke, poor ozone layer. Poor polar bears...

Busy week ahead. Bank Holiday Monday. Off Wednesday as I'm having teeth removed. Not overly sure if there's much point going in for the rest of the week....

Gone revisin' xx

Don't Stop - Never Give Up

Busy, busy, busy. This is only to be expected with GCSEs so close - well, over a month away. Some of the examinations have started already...Drama, Lighting, PE and other such shit. Oh yeah, French.

It's the most important few months of our lives - apparently. You'd better believe it. I've been working so hard with my IT work, getting all four problems in on time this week that everything else has slipped, a little.

We've had some interesting Digital Impulse stuff recently. Firstly, we've been chosen to take the photographs for the 2010 Leicestershire, Northamptonshire and Rutland Army Cadet Force's big parade in June this year. Very pleased, but it's the Sunday before a mad week of exams, so we're having to draft in a few BYPA photographers as not all the DI team are happy to do it.

In other news, we had a really lovely evening shooting a very nice lady's birthday party in Thurlaston on Saturday. Joseph and his camera went with Kenneth and had a great night of magic, music and mutual flashing. Not in that sense, though.

Also, my Leicester College interview went really well. I walked into the control box - which to be honest, is not a lot bigger than that at Thomas Estley - saw the Frog and about died. A beauty of a lx desk, and I'm looking forward to learning how to use it. I met a nice guy called Aiden, who's the lx tech at the Concordia, got a feeling he'll be creeping into lots of blogs from September onwards.

Leicester now has links with the old Phoenix theatre, now called Upper Brown Street. We'll be supporting professional productions there as well as working on student stuff at Abbey Park.

A chapter of my life that I'm now penning, and am looking forward to flicking through every page...

Behind The Curtain, In The Pantomime...

It's opening night. Well, it's still the morning but that's not the point...

And in true form, let's have a complaint. I'M ILL!! Woke up with a blocked nose, a horrid cough and the return of my ear problem. My feet are sore from my trek with Daisy the other day. I'm tired, as me and Taz stayed as late as possible to plot LX.

But it's opening night - I'm nervous, anxious, and incredibly excited.

But this also means it's the last Thursday of the Easter break, which has flown by. I've hardly done anything, although I did get some photographs of Hannah that are lovely...

And it's also nice to see I'm getting a bit of interest on Flickr....reeesult!

Made contact with the Emerald Isle this morning, chatting to Greg about various odd Volkswagen events that are kicking off this summer. Hopefully going to Bug Jam, in July, and Greg's chatting about a VW tour around Ireland, called Eireball - looks very amusing.

So, I suppose things aren't so bad, really. I shall of course let you know how the show goes...

"You know you love me"

Oh, a five minute break? Cheers.

It's a busy world, theatre. I'm not complaining much, it's just that I've barely had ten minutes since Thursday to sit down and relax - and it's Wednesday today.

With various raves and rig sessions, all in lovely sunny (not) Croft, it's been a mad couple of days. However the lighting for the show is almost good to go, and rehearsals are coming along nicely - still shoddy, but it's the first time we've done it on the stage and to be honest these things are expected to a degree.

Had a nice few days with Harvey, at varying levels of intoxication but it's been great. And Ryan too, in an odd way. He punched me in the face. Hard. Mehh. I did however get interviewed for Radio Leicester, which will be played next Thursday - listen out for me kids!

Life goes on, and whilst we've got few days before the curtain goes up for the first time, I'm feeling the excitement already. Long, hard rehearsals are paying off and we're getting somewhere...

Get your tickets - www.croftplayers.co.uk!

"You know you love me"

Decisions, Decisions...

The title for this blog is quite possible the most popular ever, especially if you read some of the word vomit that I do. Some people seem to think that their life should be posted upon the Internet every single day, and whilst this gives them some odd sense of self satisfaction, to be honest, nobody's reading. Or watching, if you're completely mentally deficient and record video blogs.

Today has been a long, bust theatrical day. 1:15pm, I hosted the Jaffa Cake eating competition which would have been fine if I'd remembered where I put the Jaffa Cakes. Meera, who was running the event, got a bit miffed at me, and gave me evils as I cheered on some chav to scaff a pack of Jaffas in 2minutes eighteen seconds. This was followed by a quick jaunt to the Library to print of some floorplans for the Croft Show.

Then maybe a lesson? Fourty minutes which the Neeson film Taken in RE, then to the auditorium to help last-minute rigging for the Talent Contest.

Now, school Talent shows often get a lot of stick for, simply, being shite. But you never get that at Lutterworth - because we do actually have talent. And this show ran a lot better than last year, we all enjoyed it more. However it was backbreaking with just Taran and I backstage, and I was hosting it as well. We remembered the old theatre adage that we'd certainly spouted last year...

Never Again.

But all in all, it was a fantastic show. I kept switching ties throughout the show through three colours to see how many people noticed. Not everyone. And my procrastinating skills are ever increasing, after looking at my watch with thirty minutes to go and no acts left to perform. A hasty and hushed conversation between Taz and I backstage was seamlessly interrupted by a by standing guitarist - "Mate, have you got a wireless pickup?" What stood here in a suit and tie? Feck off.

The beautifully talented Becky Orton won, and if you've never heard her music get your ass on YouTube now. The rest of this post - in fact the entire blog - is garbage compared to her.

It comes back to decisions. Those artists made a big decision to get on stage in front of 230+ people. Tomorrow, I have to tell a girl that she bluntly isn't wanted at a party we're throiwng this weekend. Sunday, I have to decide a safe way to rig the auditorium for the Croft Players show.

Every single action we take is a consequence of a decision - and nobody has time to waste in making them. Anybody who watched Married Single Other this week and last will know what I mean. Life is simply too short. Ask anybody who's lost a brother, a sister, a best friend. They'll tell you exactly how short life is. Some people never get the chance to make the decisions you don't even bother worrying about. Some people are taken from us too soon, and it is impossible to predict who is next.

We can't make the right decisions all the time, and in theatre and photography you can learn the most by making the wrong ones. But some are simple. Some are so dead straight and obvious that making the wrong one shout raise huge mental flags. Some wrong decisions could cost lives.

And nobody can play Monopoly with that sort of currency.

Peace.

When A Plan Comes Together

It's that time of year again when our scripts are engraved into our heads, dance steps are rehearsed and rehearsed again, and every Tuesday and Wednesday night is lost to the theatre.

Polish your dancing shoes, kids - Croft Players return.

Producer Janice informed us last night that we have six rehearsals left until we get an audience is...just six. Wow.

I know Scene One. I know Scene Six too - that's only one line. But the introduction of dancing has really thrown any coherent memory of song lyrics, and yet again it's hard to find that balance between right steps and right words. As I said on stage last year, "Oh, Bollocks...."

I made a bit of a cock up - the phone number and Sat Matinee time on the posters were wrong. It actually got me down last night, since they've been printed, laminated and distributed. Fail.

Let's hope there're no such cock ups on the programmes, hey...

I'm also designing, rigging, colouring, focusing and programming the lights this year - and it's looking quite good, to be honest. Always nice to have that little bit extra, you know? This is our 35th anniversary show, and it'd be nice if we managed to do it well...

However, we are rigging the day after Hannah's birthday party. That'll be interesting!

www.croftplayers.co.uk

Kids: Don't drink.

Here's a bit of advice from Uncle Bidz, children.

Don't drink.

Not when you feel like this afterwards. However, at least I could walk and I didn't pass out on any pavements or anything this time!

Mummy is making me some eggs and soldiers. I need more tea. I reckon I also need sume ibuprofen and more sleep, but oh well...

Focus on Imaging

Hullo all,

http://www.focus-on-imaging.co.uk/

Photography show at the NEC next weekend, email me if you're interested in going...

liam@digital-impulse.co.uk

Revenge Is Sweet

Here's the first photo post in a while...

Kenneth and I had gone cycling, looking for a weir that we could take some nice long exposures of. It turned out to be an utter failure without a ND filter...

...but to the ford on Watery Gate Lane, what do I find abandoned in the ford? A red Mini cooper - classic Brit, not German shit. With a white chequered roof.

Now there's only one person I know who drives a red mini with a white-and-red roof...Dan, the eejit who kept talking over me at the last School Council meeting. Could it possibly be him?

Hell yeah.

Me and Kenneth loved it... best photo moment in ages and beat the weir by miles! Dan had to get his Dad to come, and his mates John and Adam who bought a Land Rover with a trailer. It took me, Dan, his Dad, John, Adam and a passing old lady [who'd suffered a dognapping] to push the Mini up onto the trailer. I snapped away happily whilst Dan ate humble pie...

Oh, it was a great way to spend an afternoon. I'd have loved to have been there to capture Dan's face as he climbed through the window of his stricken Mini...

Me and Kenenth will go cycling more often...

Don't Go Into Theatre.

This post is dedicated to Taran Maguire, who sadly is still with us. Our thoughts are with his family at this difficult time...

Don't go into theatre, kids. It's stressful, tiring and not worth the hassle.

Right, lads, let's have some video...

Yes, it was a great weekend for Michelle and her girls did really well, they had a great show. And the light and sound wern't too bad either. A bit of clarification, in that video I say that the desk and the computer "wern't talking to each other" and by this I do not mean that they'd had a bit of a fall out. I mean they electronically were not interfacing.

They hadn't had a little tiff in the car on the way to the venue.

And to be honest it did kinda hinder the smooth running of the day, we had to do a few bits of lighting off the cuff, which to watch was a little like me playing piano on the desk for the chase scenes....

Taz did the filming, and he was good to have around for the day. As was Liam Payne, who gave up his day to keep me calm and thinking technically, which he did well and I'm grateful for.

So now the show's over and I'm looking forward to the next one - Croft Players, 8th April onwards...

Looking good - I just happen to know the rig at Croft uses ancient Patt 123 fresnels, which are 165mm gel frames. Hey, guess what I don't have any of... Actually that reminds me, I should make a trip to Thomas Estley and retrieve my gels from their lights from the show - I did invoice them for them but they never got back to me...

In other news, the Winter Olympics are playing hell with my sleeping patterns...but Amy Williams is going for gold in the Skeleton tonight. And Curling is a fascinating sport.

I went out to take some pictures today. I was out ten minutes, and then me and Kenneth got caught in an absolute blizzard. I am no longer a fan of snow. I'd taken a grand total of 14 pictures... but I have bought a 3 stop ND filter!

Finally, yes, a rant. Live Eastenders tonight. WOO! No. Don't ever go near a theatre, you can;t act and I'll be stood centre stage waiting for you with a shotgun. Everyone's like "Oh, 17 million people watching, wow..."

Piss off. Lady Diana's funeral was watched live by 2.5 billion people worldwide, and she didn't bat an eyelid...

What? Too soon?

Physics and Photoshop

It's been another long week, and all I've done all week is upset people. Never fun.

I headbutting Katie was too far, but every one else asked for it. Especially Amelia, who spent a large part of Thursday night's drama session complaining about her throat herpes. Bugger off.

We're at the last weekend before science exams. Biology first. I must remember to choose the stupid answers, as they seem to be the right ones - "She remembers she needs to turn left when she smells the sweet factory." This woman should not be allowed to drive.

Physics and Biology are looking fair, but Chemsitry will be a total blag. This is not entirely my fault. It's more the fact that half the subject hasn't been taught to us. Between a revision session with another teacher and the godsend of CGP revision guides, Rupert and I learnt more about atoms and the like than we've been taught so far this academic year - and we're about half way through it.

I've finally got round to improving some photos in Photoshop - mainly because DI are madly booked for February and I'll never get time if I leave it much longer. I should probably start with the Fiona pictures from Halloween, but I got so sidetracked with my robins this morning I lost an hour somewhere...

I'm not complaining, I'm actually quite pleased with some of my pictures. Which is good for my morale, because Kenneth has been sat in his bag for a week, all dejected. But this is not a pleasant time of year to be outside taking pictures.

My LeCAP form is nearly complete - I'm applying for Leicester and Brooksby Melton. I've also put in for Lutterworth's Post-16, with my choices made in three minutes flat on Friday morning...followed by a classic "Oh, Bollocks!" moment when Dave pointed out it needed to be signed by my parents. Morale of the story, kids, is deadlines are not the time to be doing your application forms...

Best of luck to everyone who're taking exams in the next two weeks x

The Tale of The Week

Hullo.

Firstly an apology - there have been no posts this week. This has been entirely down to the fact that I am now back to the daily grind at Lutterworth. So here, I'll sum up basically what happened during this week...

Monday - Fiona came early, fell asleep in my bed. Visited Thomas Estley to look at light/sound boards for MASOD Show in Feb. Piece of piss. Seeing Michelle Saturday to sort out technical details. Fell off bike on Swannington Road. Saw the film "Nine". It wasn't much to write home about.

Tuesday - Back school. Mediocre day, nice to see everyone again. Double Mulla. Snow starts to fall. Abi's birthday. Got slapped.

Wednesday - Take camera to school and take snowy pictures during registration. Very cold. Snow is starting to cause trouble. Pass chemistry test at B without revision - high mark compared to class.

Thursday - Snow continues. Ice starts to form - big boots on. Spend the morning learning French Controlled coursework. Fail French coursework. Mrs S in good mood - scary. Big fight between chavs and Indians - resembling 80s Bradford. Received correct course code from Leicester College. Croft Players rehearsal moved to pub - enough thespians to go ahead with show. Very happy. Followed by poor signing as Vicky forgot lyric sheets.

Friday - Perks [rightly] outraged by race riots. Bans snowballing. Effective punishment - not been hit by ice all day. Gave Abi her birthday present from the Emerald Isle. Wore six layers at one point. Failed at Badminton. Mrs S still in relatively nice mood - Codd disagrees. Snow continues to fall as Britain is rendered useless by powdery white stuff. Talk of grit running out. Methinks snowday on Monday. Spent the last four hours drinking wine and photoshopping the Croft Silver Band pictures.

Not a good week, but not a bad one....

Happy New Year

New Year's Eve is excellent if you're grumpy like me. I started this year drunk, and I intend to stay that way for as long as feasible...literally. I got up and had a Guinness. NYE = Excuse for a party. Cue Hannah. So here's the story of my passage into 2010...

Thursday morning, bright and cheery. I got out of bed at 8:55am, knocked on Hannah's door at 9am. With her brilliant Mum Sophie driving we went to a local supermarket and stocked up on party food and drink. We got back and started clearing space and making the house a little more party wise, under the watchful eye of the three cats which, incidentally, hate me.

I headed home at 11:15am and did a bit of hoovering for Mum, before heading back around the corner at noon with the sound kit. Several trips and a hand from Hannah soon moved various amplifiers, cables and speakers the short distance from my abode to hers. She did get sent back for Wilde (my iPod) as I'd forgotten it and can't soundcheck using the rubbish she has on hers...

I attempted multi-tasking and more or less pulled it off. The bass amp got wired up outside first, followed by a little bit of DIY to affix a plastic sheeting cover over the little outside area we'd created. Meanwhile, Hannah and Jess painted a bedsheet with the words "HAPPY NEW YEAR" on, which held some balloons to the ceiling which we let down at midnight. Cleverly, they'd managed to paint through the sheet and onto the wall it was pinned to. We laughed, Ryan arrived, more balloons got blown up, Sophie and I started on the Baileys and Take That were played as I carried on rigging the sound system, aided by pins, tacks, velcro ties, duct tape and of course my trusty hammer.

Ryan and I made a visit back to mine about 4pm to pick up an airbed and a gazebo. Then Jess and I came and picked up the computer which would be central to the night's sound system. Hannah and Ryan then came and picked up some fairy lights, and then a large amount of alcohol that David had dropped off. Slowly but surely, the whole system got wired, nailed down and then gaffa taped in place for good measure.

Cue some guests. The party got started, the booze started flowing, and by half ten chaos had erupted. This was mainly the fault of people who aren't used to drinking, drinking. Lots can be said and none of it is necessary, really, but everyone calmed down a bit and sorted each other out. Josh was on tea duty and I had two cups in five minutes, then Ella was sick all over my hands. Pleasant. However, a special mention is necessary for my good friend Joseph. Director of Photography for the British Young Photographers Association. Instrumental in the way the DI business works. A truly great friend. Not a great drinker. Not at all.

Anyhoo, we got things somewhat back on track by 11:50pm, and those that could still stand gathered in Sophie's front room to count down the seconds to 2010, aided by Big Ben on the television. And of course followed the greetings and kissing, and then a very shouty and un-lyrically-correct version of Auld Lang Syne. I then checked on Joseph who had taken refuge in the attic room, where I had designs on the bed... These plans were later flattened when Ella decided she was sleeping there. With my quilt.

After the pleasantries were appropriately and politely dealt with, I led a troop up to Charmaine's house where my Mum, Dad and sisters were celebrating. There were quite a few of us that went, and to be honest I don't really remember too much about who went, but I know that Josh and Lily did...we got back, did a tad more people-dealing, a spot more Joseph-checking and then went for a walk with Katie Lock.

Now, this didn't yield a lot more than hypothermia and for some reason we walked down a dead end street. And we played on the park, on the swings...then Lock magically got tripped up. Anyway, I'd had enough for all my memories from now onwards to be a little fuzzy around the edges, but there's not a lot a don't remember. I eventually slept beside Joseph.

The morning after the night before, and Henry got a bit stroppy before eventually buggering off out of everyone's hair. Josh made me a lovely coffee, milk, two sugars, and I surfaced to find the house in fair shape. Which meant Sophie was up already. Sean and David had disappeared, having cycled to McDonalds to get their breakfast. I was in awe for the rest of the day that they were open! I opened my last can of Guinness. Cue a bit of Facebook and a bit of Guitar Hero as our worse-for-wear guests cleaned up and shipped out. The grand operation of unwiring our lovely events venue then came about but I gave up after a short while and we watched Part One of the last Tennant Doctor Who episode on iPlayer.

The morning rolled into the afternoon and the sound system came apart and got put in the box, ready to go back home. Fiona made her way home and we moved the kit back round to my house, leaving me, Hannah, Jess and Ryan to have dinner and then kill a couple of hours before Dr Who Part Two. It was a lovely end to a lovely couple of days, and thanks and well done to Hannah, Soph and the cats for putting on a great night.

Happy New Year, best wishes to everyone and I hope 2010 is a prosperous and happy year for you all...

Get Some Guttering

Yesterday, we went to Leicester to see a film. I shan't name the film, but it's about three singing chipmunks, one of which is called Alvin. It was the second one, and I rather, liked it's predecessor. Sean claimed it was Lou's fault we were seeing it...

So, firstly I had to catch a bus. This, in my world, is a dangerous and risky task involving murdering drivers and shifty-eyed members of the public. And Joseph, usually.

(Although, a couple of weeks ago I had to take a bus to Lutterworth all by myself in pursuit of a rogue SD card. Without Joseph I was a bit scared, so got on dead early when there were few other people on the bus. I had to have a cream cake with Ellie just to be brave enough for the trip home)

Now, I managed to walk the 149 miles to the Warwick Road stop and co-ordinated my bus-boarding with the others so that we got on the same 84 to Leicester. Win. David, Nathan, Sean and Joseph were already on the bus, and so was Jesus.

The trip into Leicester was fairly uneventful I didn't get shot at or spat upon. We then ran across the Aylestone Road with me in heels. Fail. We bought out tickets from a weird little bloke without a real name, and then went over to Morroways to stock up on cheaper-than-cinema food. After a few minutes of fun with a Self-Checkout Machine and an oh-too-happy-to-help attendant, we left Morroways stuffing various items of confectionery products into inside pockets and, in the case of a rather firm tube of Pringles, down my jeans.

We successfully smuggled our haul into the cinema and settled down to watch the film.

IT WAS SHITE.

Joseph pointed out there were only three funny parts to the film and he was spot on. If it wasn't for my Pringles, Jelly Beans, Mint Cremes and Liquorice Toffees, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it very much either.

I've just discovered that my cousin of six years also went to see it, and "enjoyed it." Enough said really, and Sean - or Lou - shall not be allowed to choose the film in future. Thank you very much.

After the film, we walked through the sleet to St Margaret's Station. Our first stop along the route was behind some blue bins at the Tiger's Stadium on Welford Road, hiding from Joseph who had ran off to recover some money that was owed to him by a tramp near the LRI. The rain was pouring, and was dripping in "litres" according to David. Several of these huge droplets fell on Sean's head, leading to disgruntled shouts about the need for guttering on the new stand...

A bit of a run through Granby Halls Car Park and a back track towards the Toyota garage followed in search of Squidders, but we didn't find out if he got his money back. We then took the second leg of our walk, which terminated at a McDonalds on Horsefair Street.

A bit of dawdling down to Town Hall Square revealed something just shocking. There was a display in which ratty weasle things had guns and bum sex, but there was someyinh more shocking...in the stable, JESUS HAD GONE! Thank God David still had the little model Jesus from the bus in his pocket...

Then we made the final epic trek through dangerous light snow and hazardous little breezes to the Bus Station, where there were a large number os half-dressed young girls, escorted by a bunch of chavs. Oh yes, m'dears, welcome to nightclub country. Being teenage boys, we started a 1-10 rating system, with points being deducted for glasses, limping and wearing tablecloths or curtains.

We caught the bus home sodden and bitchy - David brought up Love Actually comments and then I nearly got murdered by some Broughtonite tosser that Nathan assured me was "a twat." Nathan's semi-Northern mother gave me a lift home from David's, where we'd sheltered in his extraordinarily long kitchen from the snow that had stopped outside...

Cheese on Crackers

It's dead annoying when you think you've got something sussed, only to realise that in fact, you're talking bollocks.

Take today for example. I paid Hannah a visit to have a look about the house and work out how I'm going to wire the New Year's Eve sound system. Turns out that in actual fact what I'd originally planned is total rubbish, wouldn't work and had to be rethought.

Bugger.

Of course I did come up with a plan, only half convinced it's going to work, but I've given myself a whole seven hours to rig the place, so there shouldn't be any problems by the time the guests arrive at 7:30pm...

What did distract me was Jess, deciding that she was a photographer and stealing Kenneth. White Balance wasn't feeling to Automatic, so I set him to shoot in Monochrome and let her play. She wasn't too bad, I suppose. I quite like this shot of Hannah...

There's often a good reason to remove colour from a photograph, and this is one of them. A lovely candid caught particularly well. B+.

I'm now sat, bored, eating cheese on crackers. I'm not supposed to eat because of my anti-spottyfuck tablets, but nuts to it. I like Mexican cheese. I like crackers. I even like the bit of butter in between.

I guess I'll just have to be a spottyfuck.

Merry Christmas

Christmastime. No Mistletoe or Wine but 2 hours of Take That's live show at Wembley and several beers.

Excellent. At 16, the excitement of Santa and snow doesn't really work (unless you're Ellie, in which case I'm sorry) and it takes a bit of alcohol to actually get into the mood. Or maybe it's just me and my Grumpy Lumpyness. To be fair I spent most of the morning reading Dara O'Briain's new book about the English, from an Irish point of view. It's really funny. Also, Santa Amy brought me Katherine Jenkin's Ultimate Collection, which is rather good for a Welshie. Bryan Adams' Everything I Do in Italian, opera style...sounds like it'd be crap but actually she's amazing.

I've also been given two massive canvas prints of art Volkswagen camper vans. Excellent - now, where am I going to put them...methinks Pop-Art-Elvis is going to be evicted from the stairs.

Anyway, Top of the Pops is a tradition in our house, more so than the Queen's Speech. I think that Liam's team were in charge of snow - they did go a little over the top and use it for literally every bloody act. And Muse were out of place. Mother decided to slag of Florence & The Machine, almost certainly because she's old and grumpy.

Now we know where I get it from.

Boxing Day looks to be slightly sunnier. We're eating duck, early, because Dad's going to work early. Early for us on a Saturday, anyhow...

Righty-ho, enjoy Boxing Day, all x

Batman and Robins

Think Pogues.

It was Christmas Eve, babe, and in a forest, two photographers, took pictures of robins...

Almost. Well, we had a lovely morning shooting today, on Christmas Eve. Squidders popped himself on my doorstep for about 9:10am and after a brief moment admiring each other's new Lowepro bags, we walked the short distance past the Blitz rock, over the bridges, past the pub and the church (in Ireland they're the same thing) and up into the same bit of footpath that Henry and I walked yesterday.

It was blooming freezing. So much so that droplets of water had frozen to a branch. This provided the first oppourtnity for us to whip out the cameras. Joseph [Squidders' real name, for newbies] has the Lowepro Slingshot AW300 which in theory should allow him lightning fast access to his camera. The design is flawed by the fact that his head gets in the way when pulling his bag over his shoulder...

I smugly pulled Kenneth from his new bag, the Lowepro Fastpack 250. We had a bit of an argument about the usual things - white balance, shutter speed and Nikons. I remembered what I learnt from the incident with the robin yesterday and told the camera to always use the centre focus point, not guess at which one I'm trying to use. The Tamron lens is a bit slow and fussy when it comes to focussing, but I nailed a pretty nice shot of the branch...

I win. Anyway, we calibrated the cameras and I dialled in a shutter speed of 1/125 which actually worked out pretty well with some of the later exposures. We caught sight of a couple of birds but it was only until we got to the path up to the hill that I got anything remotely decent...

Epic win, I even danced at Squidders who was a little way off. Silent dancing of course, we wouldn't want to disturb the birdies. We then paced up and down the path, which slopes up to the first stile to the hill from the Croft side. The robins came and went, and after yesterday it was one of them that I really wanted to get and get right. A lot of patience and careful management of the odd-focussing Tamron lens led to a couple of really close shots of some pretty robins...

We eventually got disturbed by a group of runners and then the loudest children in the entire country, so we buggered off further around the base of the hill, eventually putting the cameras away to climb up this really steep, icy, dodgy bit of slope. We sat atop the hill, chatting shit and looking out over lovely hazy Leicestershire that stretched out in every direction...

Our attention was caught by a mountain biker, who had cycled the entire way up Croft Hill. Bloody idiot. Then a jogger ran past, slipping slightly as he ran down the other side of the hill. The cyclist turned and went the other way - straight down the dodgy bit we had just climbed. Brave bloke. We stood there talking about bananas, and Joseph then noticed the cyclist bloke out on the other hill, right round near Huncote! Brave bloke!

Then the jogger went past again, this time falling flat on his arse as he descended the hill. We laughed, naturally...

This was the scene from the top of the hill, looking towards what I believe to be Broughton Road in Croft. Pretty misty, we mused. Then the jogger ran past again, this time choosing to run back down the hill on the slightly grippier edge. We stood and saluted the single most brave man in the county of Leicestershire. Feckin' nutter...

How Batman fits into this I'm not quite sure, but the title looks good. On the way back home, we bumped into a couple of Croftian locals. Joseph thought we were going to get mugged for a moment, before realising it was somebody he actually knew. We then went ice skating with them, and I decided to try and crack the ice. I even tried bunny-hopping through it on a scooter the Croftians had stolen, to no avail. Joseph was getting a bit worried for my safety, especially as large cracks had formed, spider-web style around the epicentre of my jumping.

As we were coming off the ice, a broken bit near the edge showed us that it was a good four or five inches thick...my jumping was a pointless waste of energy, I'd have never gone through that...

It's Christmas tomorrow, lads. Have a good one...Beannachtaí na Nollag xx

Well and Truly Walked

Henry and I went for a bit of a trek today, with Kenneth and Barney. After delivering a Christmas card and stopping to chat to Chris, we headed out towards Croft Hill on the woodland footpath that lines the Huncote Road.

Almost perfectly, a little robin flew down and landed on a fencepost. I froze, and Henry did too. This little robin stayed politely on the fence post, I raised Kenneth to my eye and...everything was black. Bugger, lens cap...no, there wasn't one on, it was in my pocket where I'd left it. I checked the viewfinder again, but it was definitely all black. The robin stayed on the fence, waiting for me to realise.

I'd hit the "SET" button and activated Live View - flipping Kenneth's internal mirror up and blocking any light getting to the viewfinder. In the trade, we call that "fucking stupid".

So, I missed my National Geographic award-winning shot of a cute little robin. But it's alright, I had gorgeous Henry to pose for me, instead.

That was nice of him. We spent a few minutes up the Hill and Henry took Kenneth to try his hand at DSLR photography. His shots were pretty good, and he got a quick crash course in basic composition rules (IE not sticking the subject slap-bang in the centre of the frame) before we headed off towards Huncote with the intention of going to Annabel's in Enderby.

We never made it, instead deciding the weather was too unpromising. The horrible grey skys had long since rendered Kenneth pointless, but we carried on walking and did a full circuit back up the B4114 to Croft.

Of course, it was hell when I got home - the puppy was filthy. I gave him a quick bath, but he's still not clean... To be fair he wasn't spotless when we left. I think Henry's more worried about his feet...a bad choice of footwear. I know that feeling...